Don’t know about you guys, but I am just SO WORRIED about whether Obama can defeat John McCain in the fall. I just don’t know if Obama can pull off an upset over an authentic American hero who was tortured in the 1920s(?).

I mean, with all these comments about “Bitterness” and “Clinging to religion” and “I am secretly a Muslim terrorist,” I just fear that Obama has fatally shot himself in the foot (like maybe the bullet bounced off his foot and then lodged in his heart-valve).

I really don’t see how Obama can go head-to-head with the youthful, young-looking, incredibly young-seeming and -sounding John McCain in a debate.

What if someone asks them about the economy? McCain’s intuitive, masterful grasp of the subject will be so impressive, people will just look at each other and say, “This guy must be some kind of a financial genius — we definitely need him in charge of our postindustrial economy, because he TOTALLY UNDERSTANDS THE SHIT OUT OF IT.”

Also, I hate to say it, but: Appearances matter. And when Obama and McCain are standing beside each other on the stage, Obama is just going to look so worn out and tired next to McCain, people will be like: “I am unhappy with the direction of our country, so I want to vote for a new direction, and that direction is named JOHN McCAIN BECAUSE LOOK HOW NON-OLD AND NON-WRINKLY HE IS! He is definitely a leader who knows how to handle the challenges of today’s world, like maybe even how to program a VCR.”

And also, everyone is sick of the war, and John McCain voted for the war, so people will vote for John McCain, because of some reason, I bet!

I’m worried, guys. I am worried.