Anybody hear it? I’m sorry to say I missed it. I feel bad; I probably would have learned a lot. Overall, I’ve been impressed by McCain’s grasp of the economy.

(“Economy” is that thing with the money, right? Where it’s like, “Cut taxes, raise taxes, stocks, budgets. . .” and then you get a little bored and confused? I think that’s it.)

Anyway, did you hear about how McCain was tortured in some jungle a hundred years ago or something? Sounds interesting, I might look into it. . . we could have an authentic American hero on our hands. . .

Maybe John McCain could take Economy into the jungle and strangle it and destroy it, like how Rambo killed those Chinese(?) people in the Africa(?). . . McCain could teach that dirty ol’ Economy a lesson: YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH US.

GAS TAX HOLIDAY, BABY!

Don’t look now, Economy, but we’re coming for you! YOU WON’T EVEN HEAR US SNEAKING UP ON YOU BECAUSE WE’LL BE VERY QUIET.