Please call your Senators and Representative and tell them to limit the bailout to ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Congress main line
(202) 224-3121

Nancy Pelosi
(202) 225-4965

Steny Hoyer
(202) 225-4131

CALL SCRIPT:

Hello, is this Nancy Pelosi (“Puh-LOW-see”)? My name is [SAY YOUR NAME REALLY LOUD], and I am a concerned citizen of the great state of [YOUR STATE], home of the [WHATEVER THE BEST SPORTS TEAM IN YOUR STATE IS] and the birthplace of [SAY SOME STUPID THING YOUR STATE IS FAMOUS FOR].

I am calling today to demand that Congress limit the proposed bank bailout to ONE MILLION DOLLARS. I did some research on my computer and I think the figure of one trillion dollars is just too goddamn big. Why would I entrust this group of idiot jackasses with a cool trill? You must be “outta ya mind” if you think I’m gonna go for that. Let’s start with ONE MILLION DOLLARS and see how they do. If they do good, then we’ll give them another million. The more better they do, the more money we give them.

Oh, and it better not be my money you’re giving them, either, or I will go buck wild. BELIEVE THAT.

Thanks for your time, and I can’t wait until we all rise up and kill the bankers and the deregulators and bring this country to its knees.

Thanks and have a wonderful day.

END OF CALL SCRIPT.