Regular reader (and long-time personal nemesis) JK writes in to say:

Dude–careful, careful… Merlot straight up actually NOT considered a quality wine… Merlot considered a grape good for blending with other grapes to produce fresh notes, blending with Cabernet Sauvignon, Malbec, Cabernet Franc, and in Italy w/ Italian grapes I don’t know about… Only passable on its own… Your wine owner friend is going to crush you for this… Get Wine for Dummies copy immediately, commence reading –

Excuse me? “Wine For Dummers?!?” Who’s the dummy? Because I’m straight-up RUNNING A WINE SHOP while you sit around in your jammies hitting refresh on my blog.

As far all that stuff about “blending with other grapes to produce fresh notes,” I don’t know what you’re talking about. Grapes? Where do grapes come into all this? Fresh notes? What is this, a rock concert? I’m not running a Guitar Center over here . . . last time I checked there weren’t any skinny 12 year-olds plunking away at “Stairway to Heaven” on $1,999 guitars while Mom and Dad hold hands and their eyes glaze over . . .