Thanks to reader SM for alerting me to the sad news: I didn’t win the Mitt Romney essay contest.

Where is justice? Did justice take a holiday? Did anyone do more to hype this contest than me? There was a $50 entry fee, you know … I probably brought in $10,000 for Romney’s Free and Strong America PAC.

Hmm, let’s take a look at the winning essay:

What does a free and strong America mean to me?

It means I have the right to follow my dreams, to strive for success, to be innovative, to do as I, the individual sees fit …

Actually, I can’t make fun of the winning essay. Know why? Because it was literally written by a child, and this blog has a “no-making-fun-of-children” policy, even when said child is probably being raised in a basement by G. Gordon Liddy.

More analyses of the winning essays to follow …