Reader MR has some questions about wine. I have some answers about wine. Let’s get to it!

Dear David,
could you please help your readers out with some wine-problems? For those of us who did not go to master sommelier school, it can be challenging to know which wines to pair with which things, for example. Some recent conundrums in my own life have caused me no end of social embarrassment and emotional despair, to whit:

– what wine goes with burritos?

Red wine from Mexico. NEXT!

– what wine says “I am classy but not pretentious but not too girly but I know how to party but not too much” to your guests?

Are you kidding? Could the answer be “Merlot” any harder??? MERLOT MERLOT MERLOT. Next!

– can you have guests over just for wine (i.e. no dinner)?

Umm … only if you want everyone to love you and think you’re the greatest genius of all time! Next!

– can you serve red and white wine together (in the same glass)?

Yes, this can be done. It’s called “Sex on the Beach.”

– if one of your guests asks “what kind of wine is this,” what should you say?

You should say, “It’s the wine you’re drinking, and isn’t it lovely?”

– is it true that red wine causes nightmares?

Only if you’ve been raised by a coven of maniacs who convince you it’s literally the blood of a crucified man-god. (KIDDING!)

Thanks very much in advance for your help. I always look forward to “Wine Store Mondays” because I have a lot of questions about wine and I haven’t been able to get them answered in any other venue.

My pleasure! One of my favorite things about blogging is the ability to answer any and all questions that anyone asks me about anything.