I just noticed that it’s been raining non-stop for like 5 weeks. I’m not even kidding. My relationship with my sump pump has entered a more profound level of intimacy and trust.

Hell, I might as well list some other things I’ve noticed recently:

1. The Pope is a freak.
2. Whole-wheat cornbread tastes good if you let go of society’s prejudices about cornbread.
3. The best podcast in the world is “Philosophy Bites.”
4. It’s hard to motivate yourself to swim when the entire world is already sopping wet.
5. “Chicken Battle 2000” is the greatest work of art ever. (More on this soon!)