10:02 PM Nice spin-move! Weird yet pretty. Here comes the footwork sequence … “insane,” per the announcer (Scott Hamilton?) … it’s the Lone Ranger music! Oh shit, cowboy time up in here! He’s dancing and prancing … “considered the best spinner in this competition …” true, he’s spinning like a “meh-feh.” Still spinning … spinning … even more spinning … OH SHIT HE JUST SPUN THE SHIT OUT OF THAT SPIN
10:00 PM Gave up 4.7 base points b/c he didn’t do a triple axel … he goofed the quad-toe, just lost more points … he looks good though … he’s dancing on the ice … WHOA THAT WAS a funky move …
9:59 PM Okay, time for another figure-skater … A Swiss guy … the flag-bearer of the Swiss Olympic team … wearing kind of a steam-punk outfit … this must be the BoingBoing Olympics … his name is Lambiel … okay here we go “His costume looks overpowering … burdensome …”
9:58 PM Again with the Canadians trying to trick me into visiting Canada …
9:55 PM Documentary about famous snowboarder Shawn White … he built his own private half-pipe on the side of a mountain so he can practice in secret … ARGGHH the class-warrior in me must root against him…
9:52 PM Commentator on snowboarders: “It’s not enough to be good. You gotta be cool, too.” Words to live by.
9:50 PM Awaiting the scores for Takahashi (the emo guy who just killed it) … here we go … some kind of delay … OH shit, 90.25!!! “It’s on!” We got an ice-skating contest on our hands!!!
9:48 PM HELL yes! “Welcome back! WOw! Thta was done with such personality …” The other commentator: “That was HOT!” No argument here, we’re knee-deep in the hoopla right about now …
9:47 PM This Japanese emo kid is CRUSHING … THE OLYMPICS ARE BACK!!!
9:45 PM OH FUCK YEAH WE AT THE OLYMPICS NOW, BABY “Beautiful triple axle” hell yeah, analyze these jumps!
9:44 PM Ice skating rules. WHen you see some dude skating around wearing a freaky sparkling outfit, you’re like “It’s Olympics time.”
9:43 PM OKAY, HERE WE GO Men’s figure skating. THis Japanese skater has emo hair!!! Is this the first emo-hair-olympics? EMOLYMPICS …
9:42 PM Here’s what’s going on in my house: Last night’s leftover popcorn with smushed up tortilla chips and lime and hot sauce … INTO THE UNKNOWN …
9:37 PM Man I need to drink a beer about this.
9:37 PM Whoa whoa whoa Bob Costas– no pocket square??? WTF WORST NIGHT OF OLYMPICS EVER … dontchanow …
9:36 PM I’m kinda bummed for Jacobellus … those post-race interviews will be brutal … “What went wrong for Lindsay Jacobellus…” replay now … she landed wrong or something … over-corrected … dude she’s BUMMED … her dad is bummed … “no chance to silence the critics and fans alike …”
9:33 PM Guess what? Jacobellus just completely flamed out!!! WHOA she went off the course … “I”m still in shock” … she’s gotta be hating life right now … this was her chance to avenge herself … OMG she’s bummin’ …
9:31 PM Actually I’m kinda feeling the blue lines on the snow on the snowboardcross track … reminds me of TRON … did any of you guys see that movie, it was great … that was one of my favorite video games, too … that joystick was glowing and see-through like a “muh-fuh.” Some lady just won another snowcrossboard race contest, btw …
9:30 PM More snowboard-cross racing … I wish I had that special kind of satellite dish where you can watch every single thing at the Olympics, I would be all over some ice-dancing right now…
9:27 PM If any of my readers are at the Olympics right now reading these posts on their RSS feed, could they please go to the snowboarding track and hold up a sign that says “http://www.mnftiu.cc rules” when the camera sweeps by? Thanks …
9:26 PM This commercial has a gorilla in a car talking about annuities or some such shit I can’t even understand …
9:25 PM A show where marriages in crisis are analyzed by Jerry Seinfeld??? “What will they think of next?”
9:23 PM “Play smart, play fast …” snowboard koan from the announcer … Jacobellus is burnin’ … the snow is all like “Swoosh, swoosh,” here we go, huge jump … last turn … she won the race! Advances to the next round …
9:22 PM Her outfit is psychedlic … very “BOb-COstas pocket-square” … riders ready … GO!!! … they’re off … Jacobellus in the lead … somebody fell …
9:21 PM Oh shit this is important! The woman who screwed up last time doing a triple hangie-louie (or whatever) is back for the gold!!!! Her name is Lindsey Jacobellus … expect hardcore liveblogging … NOW…
9:20 PM Cool, the guy in the GEICO commercial looks like me! (Liveblogging at its finest … get pumped …)
9:18 PM Just FYI, we’re resetting the soul-patch count for tonight’s liveblog. Current tally: 0 (Women’s snowboarding, dontchaknow…) (Is that how you spell dontchaknow? Dontyaknow? Huh? I’m gonna crack that nut, figure out how to spell it, and then use it all night …)
9:17 PM BestBuy makes computers???
9:16 PM Seriously, with the snowboard cross, guys? With these blue lines spraypainted all over the snow? The crowd hooting and hollering like savages? Why can’t the Olympics just be figure skating? I don’t like events that look like Xbox commercials. “Editorial content provided by your blogger …”
9:14 PM Whoa, Gabrielle Union is really pretty! Now I’m watching all these Canadian celebrities try to convince me to visit British Culumbia (sp) whatever that is … some kind of island colony or something …
9:12 PM By the way, tonight I’ve traded wine for stout. Expect a darker, more brooding intensity to my blog posts …
9:11 PM WHAT’D I MISS??? SOME SNOW???
9:08 PM Okay, gimme a minute to go grab my bowl of rice and beans.
9:07 PM WTF, another Omega watches ad? … “Some say time is an illusion …” I think we’re in for a night of some deep-ass metaphysical ads about wristwatches …
9:05 PM Cool ad from Omega watches … understated, elegant … just like my blog …
9:03 PM Damn, one of these ladies is wearing a total motorcycle helmet! It looks bad-ass! Why don’t figure skaters wear motorcycle helmets, they certainly crash enough … Am I right or what people … we’re doing this … liveblogging …
9:02 PM: Let’s do this. More snowboarding tonight … looks like women this time … goddamn snowboard cross AGAIN???