It’s official: Artisanal Pencil Sharpening has been hired as the on-board pencil sharpening service for Jonathan Coulton’s Caribbean cruise.

You should come with us! We’re going to Jamaica, the Bahamas, and the Cayman Islands. The cruise features nightly performances by Jonathan Coulton, John Hodgman, Paul F. Tompkins, John Roderick, the MST3K guys, and more. There’s a disco on the boat. I’m not even kidding.

The cruise features all-you-can-eat food! And free room service. I’m probably going to eat a lot of nachos. The cruise is going to Jamaica and I think you can go white-water tubing. I will find out for sure and let you know.

And best of all, the price of the cruise includes a FREE ARTISANALLY SHARPENED PENCIL. “Yes, miracles do exist.”

Seriously, buy your ticket now.