How come nobody told me about “Pencil Beats?” You guys realize I make my feeling sharpening pencils, right? (I should put the link here but I feel very tired from all the replay.) Anyway, now I gotta re-invent my business and expand into “musical-pencil sharpening services.” Very well. GAME ON.

(I know this kid — “Shane Bang” — is using ballpoint pens and not pencils, but still — the video is called “pencil beat remix,” and once he tries one of my custom-musical-sharpened-artisanal pencils, he won’t be going back to pens, believe that. And neither will any of you. Believe you me that.)

The best thing about this video is he stops playing “Replay” (which is, guys, let’s admit, no offense if Iyaz is reading this, but really, not such an objectively magnificent piece of songcraft) and makes his way to Jason Derulo’s “Whatcha Say,” which is an amazing song, and now I’m wondering why I didn’t choose it for the grand return of FFO. I know I started researching it, and Lord knows I have listened to it in my automobile whilst zooming around on errands. Maybe I’ll do it later this year. Anyway, yeah, just make sure you get to (2:18), because that’s the total jump-off. And then watch to the end, where something LSD-related seems to happen.

Oh, right, maybe I should post the video so you guys know what I’m talking about:

Friday Face-Offs! WINNING VIDEO IS NEXT

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