It was inevitable: Somebody officially meta-chopped and screwed CHOPPED N SKREWED:

This is like two inches away from being a Gregorian chant.

From the comments:

“(I) like the screwed but too much chop-maybe plus 2-3 chops per verse.”

Three chops per verse, are you kidding? You c-c-can’t chop enough, as f-f-far as I’m concerned-erned-erned. If you’re chopping less than 5 ch-ch-ch-ops per verse, I’m going back to my Enya tapes; call me when you chop it like you mean-ean-ean-ean it. The musical genre is called “chopped and screwed,” n-n-not “screwed and every so often, like three times per verse, maybe chopped.”

Come on, g-g-get real. In the words of Dinsoaur Jr, “Start Choppin’.”

THANK YOU

This is important, guys. Please watch.

Guy is happy with T-Pain at 0:33.

In the course of researching this week’s FFO, I watched MANY videos of people dancing to CHOPPED N SKREWED. This is my favorite … except for 0:37, where I panic about the fedora.

I also love the graphic wipe at the end, because it makes the whole thing look a promotional video for a new kind of travel agency — AN AWESOME KIND.

“Seriously, what’s the deal with travel agencies? Does anyone still go to these places? With a bunch of posters of Jamaica and Hawaii, and some sad plant in the window and brochures lying all over the place? Seriously, what’s the deal? How can I travel to your agency? Why would I want to take a vacation in your office? Is that the deal? What IS the deal? Anyway, what?”

(Sorry, had to bust out a little Seinfeld routine there; I’m noticing a recrudescence of the Seinfeldian zeigeist in the cultural biosphere as limned by the post-industrial memescape’s gestalt vis a vis Seinfeld and various observational recrudescences. [A reader promised a $50 donation if I could use “recrudescence” in a post more than JMM does here; all I have to say is, “Mission Recrudescence-d,” you’ve officially been CHOPPED N SKREWED.] )

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Hmm. Not what I was expecting. Something about that wooden stool is way off.

But since when was a school assembly supposed to be normal?

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THAT’S MORE LIKE IT.

All the true FFO-heads know my love for drum covers … just bangin’ away to your favorite song … making the craziest, careening fills … showing off your cymbals … LOVE IT.

Interesting technical note: This guy’s video plays with compositional space like an old Chinese landscape painting. Do you know what I’m talking about? Like, some of those cymbals are probably five miles away in the distance, but they look like they’re all stacked up on top of each other. Cool effect. The depth of field has officially been CHOPPED N SKREWED.

This is the video that made me want to see the Bad Plus do a version of CHOPPED N SKREWED. They could really kill this song.

THANK YOU

LOL, how did Michel Gondry get those Legos to move so smoothly?

Another mellow version of CHOPPED N SCREWED! What mysterious force compels people to turn this bombastic, computerized bleep-bloop symphony into, basically, the next “Girl From Ipanema?” What, are we gonna hear “Chopped N Skrewed” played on lutes at Cape Cod weddings some day?

Which brings up a question I’ve been wondering about: Do you think anyone has ever eaten brie while listening to “Chopped N Skrewed?” Sometimes I imagine a list of songs that have never been played while someone’s eating brie.

Anyway, FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!

THANK YOU

Watching this video is a good way to mellow out after watching the original “Chopped N Skrewed” video ten times in a row, where you start to see T-Pain’s head opening up with CGI lions coming out of it everywhere you turn.

To me this sounds like the soundtrack to one of those 1970s melancholy romantic comedies where people spend a lot of time walking on the beach when it’s overcast.

(What’s with being so differential to Ludacris, though? Why not bust out a hard-bop solo over that verse?)

THANK YOU

WHAT A WEEK! Tax-baggin’ tea parties; torture memos; and on a personal note I bought a swim cap! And now the weekend is here and it’s time for

Friday Face-Offs!!!

Welcome to the FOURTEENTH INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Chopped N Skrewed” by T-Pain. Watch the original version here:

What can we say? Great song, great video, great musical genre, and great cynical-co-option-of-said-musical-genre-for-street-cred.

Also, great chorus: “You’ve officially been chopped and screwed.” Ouch, do you get some kind of special plaque? That “officially” ranks as one of the all-time best adverbs in the history of pop music.

First contestant is up next!

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! You’ve officially been Fridayed and Face-Offed!

Hooray! I took my favorite versions of “Don’t Cry Out Loud” and mashed them all together and made this tribute to Glenn Beck!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

1. Best outfit.
2. Best set design. (Glenn Beck, this might work for you also?)
3. Best fan-wavers on the sidelines. (Glenn Beck, this might work for you also?)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! Winning video is next!

Glenn Beck just loves his country …