Were you worried? Did you think I’d forgotten?

NEVER!

Friday Face-Offs.

Welcome to the TENTH INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)” by Beyonce. Watch the original version here:

Guys, I gotta admit: I am not a Beyonce fan. In fact, I would go so far as to say she’s the most overrated singer of my generation.

On the other hand, I love that this song basically sounds like an Atari 2600 with indigestion. Ms. Knowles can definitely pick a hit.

And you know who else can pick a hit?

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!!!

First contestant comin’ up! “You can’t be mad at me!”

I picked up on a really deep vibe when I first watched this video, and I couldn’t figure out why:

It took me about 15 minutes of hardcore internet research to figure out what’s going on here:

This is one of those online games, like “World of Warcraft,” where everyone lives in a virtual medieval landscape (and by “everyone” I mean fifty trillion people from all over the world).

What happened was, one of the players of this game died of organ failure (in real life). This young man’s character’s name was “Fat Wrecked.” So this is footage of a virtual-world memorial march for Fat Wrecked.

R.I.P. Fat Wrecked.

Friday Face-Offs.

Again, like with Mr. UFC (below), I empathize: It’s hard to keep from straight-up YELLING THIS SONG. Why?

Because Brandy is stuck working in that crap-ass harbor town, and the only guy she’s ever liked, the sailor of her dreams, is always going off in his goddamn boat somewhere out on the stupid-ass sea.

If you have a heart, you will have a hard time singing this song. You want to take it to that next level — that level of emotional turmoil — but then you run the risk of sounding like a bellowing maniac.

I FOR ONE WILL RUN THAT RISK. And I have, many times, in karaoke rooms across Manhattan. (Don’t even get me started on how I rip “Man, I Feel Like A Woman” — another of my go-to karaoke jams. I make the dude from Burning Witch sound like Luther Vandross.)

Anyway, I award this video a FFO-5-STAR BONUS for the arrangement of the “doo-doo-dee-doo” part; cool harmony.

YES. All you need is 4:13 – END.

I downloaded this Girl Talk album to feel young . . . guess what, LOL, mission absolutely not accomplished . . . LOL, I’m old-school when it comes to mash-ups, I prefer more than 5 seconds per song, come on, give a senior citizen time to mix his Metamucil . . . but this little taste of “Brandy” is so freaking neck-snapping, I almost snapped my neck in half when I first heard it . . . it’s like the guy drilled into my head when I was dreaming and extracted my ultimate musical fantasy . . .

This gives me the biggest mash-up headrush since “Bring The Noise” got mashed with “Come On Eileen” back in olden mash-up times …

… almost as bank-robbingly good as the immortal MIDI marching band arrangement of “The Suffering” . . . (by the way, when will someone mash that up in a remix and get it so remixy-mashy that I can rock it all day with mix-maximum remashiness?)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! Doo-doo-dee-doo-doo-dee-doo-doo-dee-doo-dup!

This feels like a dream.

Is it just me, or is the energy in this room sort of intense? Definitely seems like one of those nights where, deep down, the kids are thinking, “This is weird. Grown-ups are weird.”

I empathize with the singer and his UFC shirt, though . . . sometimes with this song, you want to go so far beyond your normal singing voice, it’s hard to know what to do with the melody . . . you wanna wrap the mic cord around your arm like Henry Rollins and jump up and down in your bike shorts and get all energy-drink on everyone . . . . . . when I karaoke this song, I’m usually screaming by the bridge — definitely by the final chorus . . . “MY LIFE MY LOVE AND MY LADY — IS THE SEA!” . . . how do you not scream that line and immediately put your foot in a wall?

She’s in love with a sailor but the dude is always out floating around on the sea and whatnot. All she has is that locket.

Then again, you could always kick it in mellow mode, like this fellow — this performance seems less fraught than the one above:

This is called a jam session. What happens is, two friends get together. The guitarist wants to record a version of one of his favorite songs . . . his friend just wants to toot on his clarinet.

GUITARIST: Do you want to hear the song before we jam on it?

CLARINETIST: Whatever dude, press Record, I’m ready to flow!

GUITARIST: Will it bother you if I make my guitar sound like it cost 99 cents?

CLARINETIST: (Already gettin’ his toot on.)

“You’re like a harmonica player in nice clothes.” LOL, WTF? (4:50)

Can a big dog represent?

I like when he waves goodbye at the end, and leaves us alone with the android nucleus.

Guess who’s back?

Friday Face-Offs.

Welcome to the NINTH INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Brandy (You’re A Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass. Watch the original version here:

This is one of my top five karaoke jams. I will always murder this song at karaoke, and yes, you will get goosebumps. Are you kidding about what a stone jam this is? You can’t be serious if you don’t pump this LOL-loud whenever it comes on the radio.

That doo-doo-dee-doo-doo-dee-doo-doo-dee-doo-dum chorus will put all other choruses in traction. BELIEVE THAT.

Pay attention, first contestant up next.

The bailout worked! FRIDAY FACE-OFFS IS BACK!!!