Here it is, ladies and gentlemen! THE WINNER!!!

Polls for life!!! Data for life!!!

“This is not a Hollywood movie, anyway.” EXACTLY. That’s the whole problem with Hollywood!

LOL, have a great weekend.

NO MORE POLLS, YOU CAN RELAX.

An elections poll is only as good as its raw data.

Here is the raw data . . .

Friday Face-Offs! WINNING VIDEO IS NEXT!!!

If you wanna be the hottest new poller on the scene, you’ve gotta learn generalized correlation. Just like the android tutor says, “Collapse the y-axis.”

I like 4:20 – 4:31, when the android tutor falls silent in deference to the raw beauty of data!!!

Look, honestly, all you really need to do is turn the data into blobs or shapes and everyone on CNN will be like, “Can we use your polls tonight on the news? Your blobs are so correlated, we love it.”

Last night I broke into fivethirtyeight.com HQ and shot this footage on my spy-phone while Nate Silver was taking a nap in the kitchenette.

“The myth is shattered.”

If you want to know what the life of a political pollster is like, watch this clip:

Basically, this is my life, for all to see. DATA. CRUNCHING THE NUMBERS. USING HI-TECH COMPUTERS. MAKING INTERNET HISTORY WITH ALL MY GREAT POLLS. PUTTING FIVETHIRTYEIGHT.COM ON PERMANENT NOTICE.

LOL, good “Stock Market Analysis,” looks about right!!!

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!!!

If you’re a hardcore pollster like me . . . this is what it’s all about . . .

The patter of rain . . . a thunderstorm . . . the healing vibes of reggae music . . . must be time for some Correlation and Simple Linear Regression Analysis . . . everything feels so irie . . . let’s get that analysis sooo regressed . . .

Silent but deadly . . .

I used this regression analysis software for my latest poll . . . it gave me a nice sigma-3 curve, which I smoothed out and stuffed in a pie chart . . . the pie chart showed McCain up by 526,012,703 votes . . . they should call it the “Dems Should Worry” software . . .

We’re back and better than ever!

Friday Face-Offs.

Welcome to the 8th INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!!!

As you know, this site has been the leading source of election polls ever since the election ended.

If you doubt me, just take a look at this:

M: 206,460,636,780,093
O: 89,384,190,084

Anyway, in honor of all the polls we’ve commissioned in the last two weeks, and all the data we’ve sifted, this week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is “Elections Poll,” by trendingBot.

First contestant is up next! FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!!!

Umm . . . as far as I can tell, this is a video of a guy playing a harmonica with his mind.

Truly, this dude brought it on home.

As must we all.

This blog will not be updated again until we have elected our next president.

BRING IT ON HOME.