FRIDAY FACE-OFFS

Friday Face-Offs: Ignition (Remix) – 7th Place

I was skeptical — until he looped the “bounce bounce bounce” beeping sound. That showed a deference to the source material that is sadly lacking in many covers of “Ignition (Remix).” Then I was like, “He’s building something special here . . . lemme grab another Harvey Wallbanger and change into my nice bathrobe and take a journey into sound . . .”

(Also, having reviewed 53,000 shoddy acoustic versions of this song, it’s nice to hear somebody shred just a little.)

From the youtube comments: “this guy is my husband how great is he”

Awwwww!

@–}—-

That lady just earned the FIRST EVER FRIDAY FACE-OFF CYBER-ROSE!!!

Friday Face-Offs: Ignition (Remix) – 8th Place

Short but sweet! And, umm . . . does he end with very much confidence?!? Is he fairly secure in the knowledge that he kicked all of our asses?!?

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!!! IT’S THE FREAKIN’ WEEKEND BABY I’M ABOUT TO HAVE ME SOME FUN CANVASSING AND PHONE-BANKING!!!

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!!!

Mavericks gone wild! Town-hall debate ass-clobberings! Terrorist connections every which way! Further economic excitement! Ladies and gentlemen, what a week!

Not to mention, my book came out and everybody bought fifty copies!!!

Anyway, the weekend is almost here. Time to relax, right? WRONG. We’ve gotta stay busy this weekend, my friends. We’ve gotta hit the pavement to ensure the total, irrevocable defeat and humiliation of John McCain and Sarah Palin. But before we mount up, we must get pumped up . . . with:

Friday Face-Offs!!!

Welcome to the FOURTH INSTALLMENT of an internet legend!

This week’s FRIDAY FACE-OFF is: “Ignition (Remix)” by R. Kelly. Watch the original version here:

I always thought it would be fun to play this at the end of a GYWO reading. I don’t know why . . . I guess I thought it would take the audience by surprise, and they’d be so happy and excited they’d buy fifty copies of my book!

Check back later this morning for our first contestant. . .

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! I AM THE ONLY REAL MAVERICK!!!

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son — WINNER!!!

Congratulations, all other rock bands throughout history. You have just been destroyed.

“I believe the children are our future /
Teach them well and let them lead the way”
–Whitney Houston

(PS: Yes, he is singing the chorus in the affirmative, i.e. exactly wrong, i.e. exactly right.)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WE WIN AGAIN!!!

Have a great weekend! If you live in Wilkes-Barre, PA, look for me knocking on your door.

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 2nd Place

I know I’ll get angry emails saying this doesn’t deserve 2nd Place:

Whatever. You think I’m gonna apologize for being mesmerized? I never apologize! AND THIS BLOG NEVER APOLOGIZES!!! I’ve made my decision, you deal with it!!!

Here’s how I feel about this video:

And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America. This is a quality that can’t be learned; it’s either something you have or you don’t, and man, she’s got it.

LOL, actually that’s Rich Lowry talking about Sarah Palin, LOL times ten million!

PLEASE let this lady get in a room with Sarah Palin! Would this lady get very imperious and wave her head around and pull out that spoon and make Sarah Palin look about four inches tall? Answer: YES.

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! WINNING VIDEO IS NEXT!!! (WARNING: IT’S A DESTROYER.)

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 3rd Place

User’s description of video: “This song is very common in vietnam war movies so i decieded to play it on the bass”

My description of video: “The guy’s username is ‘lynyrdskynyrdgod2112.’ How are you NOT watching this?”

Okay, something beautiful about this video: Mike Watt (who, as we all know, recorded the greatest version of “Fortunate Son” ever, which is not at the top of today’s FFO only because I have recused the Minutemen from FFO competition, lest they win every week, even for songs they never recorded) learned to play bass by plucking along to “Down on the Corner” by Creedence Clearwater Revival. And you know what? When Mike Watt first started playing bass, it probably sounded a little like lynyrdskynyrdgod2112.

So all we can say to lynyrdskynyrdgod2112 is, keep practicing that bass. The world needs more Mike Watts.

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 4th Place

HELLO THERE.

IT’S TIME TO CHANT “FORTUNATE SON” AS IF IT WAS THE GREAT LITANY AT CHURCH.

Pare down that melody and let ‘er rip.

And for all the haters, let me add that this is the first time I’ve ever understood the “When the tax man comes to the door” lyric. “It looks like a rummage sale.” FINALLY. I never knew what the deal was when the tax man came to the door.

Thank you for enunciating, sir.

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 6th Place

LOL, if only the people in this video were enjoying themselves.

By the way, LOL, is the lead guitarist holdin’ shit down very hard at 3:42 – 3:51?

PS: You know what I just realized? This Sleater-Kinney gig was at the Cat’s Cradle in Carrboro, NC! TARHEELS REPRESENT!!! How we do!!! (Go to Visart after the show, rent a video . . . LOL, that’s some local knowledge I just dropped.)

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! EVERYONE GET ON STAGE!!!

Friday Face-Offs: Fortunate Son – 7th Place

Teacher of the year. (0:57)

Can I just say? That guitar tone? Sounding not very bad-ass? Also, sounding very QUIET? Mom’s probably happy when the band rehearses while she’s trying to watch her shows? Because when that band rehearses? It’s probably pretty easy to hear Alex Trebek? Because that guitar is quiet???

One more thing? Girls in the audience? Screaming pretty quietly at the end? Dudes in the band, probably feeling pretty sad about that?

One final thing? Lead singer? Kickin’ very much ass? Voice sounding weak? Tummy looking small at 3:20?