Hello! It’s me, Friday Face-Offs! Do you like the Killers? Do you like the professional wrestler Shawn Michaels, aka the Heartbreak Kid, aka HBK? Do you like amateur fan videos that are fifty times more kick-ass than anything you’d ever see on ESPN? If so, you’re about to be pretttttty sad …

Goddamn, whoever made this video must be like a tenured professor in Shawn Michaels studies, because every single lyric of the song is represented by a totally appropriate clip from the career of Shawn Michaels, aka Heartbreak Kid aka HBK. While watching this video it slowly it dawned on me: This is making me want to have sex with Shawn Michaels. This video is turning me gay for Shawn Michaels. I LOVE SHAWN MICHAELS, AKA HEARTBREAK KID, AKA YOU MIGHT KNOW HIM AS AKA HBK!

B/c damn is he owning the universe very hard at 1:09??? I saw that and I was like, “Wait — humans get to make faces like that?!? I thought only immortal gods in the sky got to make faces like that.”

I used to only like the Undertaker, but forget that. I’m in HBK’s crew now.

“HBK we’re makin’ that green / people always say what the hell does that mean? / H for the homies who can’t understand / how one country boy became the man / B for the way we bust and shout / one by one we knock y’all out / K for the way my dj’s cuttin’ / other wrestlers man you ain’t seen nothin'”
(Whoever gets that reference gets a bonus shout-out next week)

From the comments to this video:

“This is simply epic, such a great tribute. It really got to touch me.”

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS! IT REALLY GOT TO TOUCH ME

Oh hellll yeah … we’re setting it OFF in STYLE right about NOW.

First of all, flicking the string above the nut to approximate the piano that begins the Killers’ version is bad-ass. And he knows it, too. Because look at how he looks at you while he’s doing it.

“Yeah, I’m going plink-plink with my guitar. You know you want me.”

Now although this guy gets +100 points for style, we gotta deduct .05 points every time he screws up the singing … so let’s see … that means the total deduction is … (using my calculator, gimme a sec) … 3,502 points. (There’s a lot of weird prosody/phrasing in this song … I can’t tell you how many videos I watched where people flub the phrasing of ‘I’m so much older now than I can take.’ I had to practice a lot before karaoke. )

Then again, we have to add +5,000,000,000 points for 2:03 – 2:19 where he’s just owning that barred G-chord like nobody’s business.

You know what? Just watch the whole video. You’ll like it.

FRIDAY FACE-OFFS

“You’ve tried the rest — now try the best!” It’s time for another installment of …

***FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!***

It’s been too long since we celebrated the end of the work week by watching a bunch of people performing versions of the same song. In other words, it’s been too long we since did …

***FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!***

It’s March Madness, ie basketball tournament time. Say, guys, why can’t there be a youtube-videos-of-people-singing-a-fun-song tournament? There can be! It’s called …

***FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!***

I guess what I’m trying to say is …

***FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!***

And also, one thing I wanted to mention was:

***FRIDAY FACE-OFFS!***

This week’s Friday Face-Off is “All These Things That I’ve Done” by the Killers. Watch the original here:

MNFTIU-heads will recall that I’ve liked this song for a while. A few weeks ago I sang it at karaoke. It’s a good karaoke song! Now it’s time to see if it’s a good Friday Face-Offs song … we’ll find out soon … because guess what …

Our first contestant is up next!

Friday Face-Offs!!!

(This makes you happy and it makes me happy and that’s why we do it.)

What can I say?

Thanks for a great year, everyone! See you in 2010 …

Okay, I’m cheating, and hardcore FFO-heads will probably sue my ass, but this is my party so I’ll do what I want … gotta give this week’s FFO 2nd Place Medal to my favorite music video of the year:

This video is like the elixir of eternal life for me.

Friday Face-Offs!!! WINNING VIDEO IS NEXT!!!

This song really starts rocking at 0:23. I can’t decide what I think of the vocalist’s style, but I looove the beat. Sometime around 3:00, the tambourine player basically goes into Keith Moon mode with those insane triplets.

Video’s not bad, either …

Friday Face-Offs! Two more videos if it kills me!

LOL, is this guy feeling it very hard? LET’S DO THIS.

In the comments to this video, haters are saying this guy looks like Stephen Hawking when he sings. Then another commenter says this: “Awesome cover. Btw, screw everyone else, I love the head bob. Real emotion is music is what it’s all about.”

Is there anything more invigorating than a youtube commenter telling a video’s poster to ignore the haters? ANSWER: NO.

I also like the very, very end of this video, because he puts down his guitar and then for a split second it looks like he’s debating whether to smash it against the wall.

Friday Face-Offs! “Real emotion is music is what it’s all about.”

If I was in high school, no doubt the Mountain Goats would be my favorite band. Are you kidding? All that heart-on-shirtsleeve over-emoting, all the lyrics about drinking Scotch and playing video games? In the words of one of the decade’s greatest catchphrases, “Fuhgeddaboutit.”

Stop-motion animation? Check. Multi-track vocal harmonies? Check. Extended shots of high school building? Check. This video couldn’t be more awesomely high school if it came with a diploma.

This is the most depressing video of all time– since when did they start using CGI on Dr. Who??? If it ain’t a monster made out of rubber and duct tape, or a space ship made out of old BBC shipping containers and sparkle paint, it has no business being on Dr. Who.

Anyway, life is all about accepting change and living with disappointment and growing and whatnot, so I guess I need to make peace with the fact that Tom Baker isn’t Dr. Who anymore if it kills me.

Friday Face-Offs!!! Ex-term-in-ate … Ex-term-in-ate …

Okay, basically this dude is the ultimate bad-ass. He keeps pushing through this song (which is supposed to be completely emotionally shattering) in spite of everybody ignoring him and talking and chattering every which way and thereby passively stripping the song of much of its power. I used to perform acoustic-guitar songs at open mics*, and if this guy is anything like me, he’s probably distracted from his performance by thoughts like: “What am I doing, why is everyone ignoring me, why am I such a failure, why does everyone hate me, I wish I was dead.”

True, he bails eventually, but he gave it the ol’ college try, so he earns a 7th Place Friday Face-Offs medal!

By the way, do you think the camera man was pretty happy at (0:16)? What is she picking up, census forms? LOL, “the government wants to know how many people live at this coffeehouse.”

(*Don’t hate the playa, hate the game)