Tomorrow’s Friday and you know what that means!

Here are the links to the previous FRIDAY FACE-OFFS to get you excited . . .

WEEK ONE: “Umbrella”

WEEK TWO: “The Suffering”

WEEK THREE: “Fortunate Son”

FRIDAY FACE-OFF TEASER, a.k.a. “Overhead At Friday Face-Offs”:

“Now usually I don’t do this, but go ahead and break ’em off a little preview of the remix.”

NOTE: I AM LOOKING FOR SPONSORS FOR FRIDAY FACE-OFFS. WEEKLY OR MONTHLY OR YEARLY (YOU PAY BIG BUCKS FOR THAT LAST OPTION). LET ME KNOW IF YOU OR YOUR COMPANY OR YOUR POLITICAL CAMPAIGN IS INTERESTED.

LOL, have you seen the “hot new web redesign” over at theatlatlantic.com?

Are you kidding me? They weren’t even NEAR the top of my list of “blogs this blog will destroy,” and yet they’re already running scared with this desperation play!

Are you kidding me? Is that IMPACT font I see? Are you serious, they’re trying to bite the font made famous by ME??? (See cover of my new book if you doubt me.)

LOL, way to go theatlantic.com, yes you can smell fear on the internet.

MUST ATTRIBUTE . . . PARENTAL WARNING . . . ADULT CONTENT . . . SIRENS FLASHING . . .

Look at all the comics! What were they thinking?

Here’s an EXCLUSIVE poem about the book:

Everybody buy fifty copies of this book
Not forty; not thirty
Twenty copies won’t do, nor ten
It must be fifty
Fifty copies ONLY
Fifty
Must be bought
Your only option

Won’t you support poetry by buying fifty copies of this book today?

Apparently interest rates are falling(?). And the international markets are going buck-wild in the club(?).

I’ll look into the situation and give you a complete analysis as soon as I finish eating my nine-course breakfast.

PS: Because I know you’ll ask:

1. Orange Juice with strawberries
2. Oatmeal with fresh black pepper (“Indian Spice Oats”)
3. Steamed egg salad
4. Philly cheesesteak (“Hold the wiz”)
5. Tofu jammers (this is when you eat a block of tofu as quickly as possible)
6. Wheatgrass power smoothie, infused with grass clippings from my lawn
7. Bucket of Grape-Nuts
8. “Screamin’ Toast” (toast made by someone screaming about how much they hate making toast)
9. Seltzer water with Snickers bars melted and stirred into it

Whew, good thing it’s not Friday because this hot l’il jam would CRRRUUUSSSHH on Friday Face-Offs!!!

LOL, McCain seems to LOVE Obama . . . must be hard to wake up in the morning and campaign against someone you have so much respect for . . . “Cindy, how can I bear to spend another day criticizing the man I have so much affection for? My colleague in the Senate who I like so much, I even gave him a nickname: THAT ONE?“

Go read that Dana Milbank article I just linked to (I know, you’d rather throw hot soup in your eyes, but just DO IT).

What’s up with this?

Palin then went on to blame Katie Couric’s questions for her “less-than-successful interview with kinda mainstream media.” At that, Palin supporters turned on reporters in the press area, waving thunder sticks and shouting abuse. Others hurled obscenities at a camera crew. One Palin supporter shouted a racial epithet at an African American sound man for a network and told him, “Sit down, boy.”

Are you kidding me?

Umm . . . in the immortal words of Sinbad:

I got angry. I actually got angry! I said, ‘I will be for Obama like never before.”

UPDATE: Turns out the epithet was the classic “UPPITY NEGRO.”

He’s like Maureen Dowd with hairy legs.

“Unleashed, Palin Makes a Pit Bull Look Tame.”

That’s the title of his stupid article about this stupid, small-minded woman. She’ll probably wear it as a badge of pride:

“Look at what this Washington, D.C. journalist said about me . . . said I make a pit bull look tame! (Crowd cheers) Now, the journalist probably meant that as in insult — (Crowd boos) — but where I come from, that’s a compliment! (Crowd cheers like a hoard of witless idiots)”

And then she’ll launch into more stupid shit about barracudas and hockey sticks and lipstick and grizzly bears or whatever dumb-turd, Alaskan-ized, fake-ass folksy drivel she scribbled in the margins of her Algebra textbook thirty years ago.

And Dana Milbank will go to some cocktail party in D.C. and be like, “Hey did you see Palin hold up a copy of my article? That was pretty cool. She’s so much fun to write about!”

Too many faces, not enough pies.

MUST CREDIT; FLASHING SIRENS; LOUD SIRENS EVERYWHERE . . .

Another exclusive “glamour shot” of the new GYWO book! Here we get a peak at the Introduction, which was written by Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi. LOL, you might mistake it for some long-lost Toby Keith lyrics . . . Believe me, you’ll probably get confused and think you’re reading Sarah Palin’s diary, where she writes about all her sparkling, star-bursty feelings of love for this great nation called America, LOL.

Won’t you help us take back America by purchasing fifty copies by midnight tonight?

A longtime mnftiu.cc reader chimes in:

FFO (Friday Face-Offs – ed.) rocked like crazy on Friday. I’ve been telling lots of ppl about it, but its no small task to get them to invest like 2 hrs watching all of it… and not just 2 hrs of casual watching b/c you have to frickn concentrate like crazy or you’ll miss something. that said ,even if i can get someone to spend like 20 minutes watching FFO, they are loving it. no worries b/c soon everyone will be watching 2 hrs of FFO b/c no one will have jobs… so that’s good… pls keep it up, and never make it shorter.

My promise: FFO will NEVER BE SHORTER!!! It will ONLY be longer!!!