(Don’t tell JMM I said that!)

So, Gov. Sarah Palin can speak spontaneously in complete and coherent sentences.

Let’s judge her then as we would a presumptively seasoned and competent political leader. By that standard, on issues of foreign policy, she was outgunned by Sen. Joe Biden at every turn.

Fred Kaplan, still my #1 go-to guy for foreign policy analysis. I straight love this dude.

Read “She Still Knows Nothing.”

By the way, Friday Face-Offs is about to start. “Does it get any better than this?”

The “good war” so good, we don’t want it to end.

My two favorite kinds of JMM posts on TPM are:

1. The really, really long ones — where he’s like, “I haven’t had time to collect my thoughts and respond to John McCain’s cataclysmic lack of integrity during the FY2005 budget discussions, because I’ve been too busy chasing down Duke Cunningham’s requisition forms from a contractor tied to New Hampshire’s 8th electoral district, but . . . [10,000 words later] . . . can we all finally admit Sen. McCain is a douchebag?”

2. The really, really short ones, like this:

Realization: We’re debating whether being part-time mayor of a small town in Alaska qualifies you to be president.

I know some smart aleck is probably composing an email to me:

“Hey Dave, pretty funny posting an AFL-CIO speech during Dinosaur Week, LOL Dave because the labor movement is a dinosaur and unions are basically extinct.”

You know what, smart aleck? DON’T CALL ME DAVE. MY NAME IS DAVID. SHOW RESPECT. I’M THE HOTTEST NEW BLOGGER ON THE SCENE — YOU CAN’T STEP TO ME LIKE WE’RE OLD CHUMS FROM SCHOOLYARD DAYS.

And the labor movement isn’t a dead dinosaur. As much as the Right wants to kill it, and Grover Norquist or whoever fantasizes about the day when workers have no bargaining power and work as indentured servants and get stuck in collapsed mines ten times per day, the labor movement is gonna be like that mastadon from Maya Angelou’s poem:

“Still I rise, I rise, I rise, I’m about to rise up and kick all of your asses into the La Brea tar pits!!! BELIEVE THAT!”

(Quoting from memory.)

I like it when somebody just plain ol’ sets it off.

Check out 4:00 – 6:12, are you kidding me? LOL, did he set it off very hard?

What’s everyone complaining about? He seems like a nice guy. Cool, calm, collected. Definitely not giving off the vibe of being two seconds away from exploding. Definitely doesn’t seem to be trying with all his might not to scream and rant and eat his own fist.

LOL, no tension in the room there . . . seems to take criticism well . . . LOL, sounds like he’d be open to ideas and suggestions from people in his administration . . . definitely wouldn’t just lock himself in the Oval Office and start pressing every big red button he saw . . . LOL, must be a fun marriage . . . shit probably doesn’t get very intense when somebody misplaces his reading glasses . . . LOL, “Straight Talk Express” . . .

LOL, I got so excited about dinosaurs I forgot to mention the big news:

The FINAL, DEFINITIVE COLLECTION of GET YOUR WAR ON will be published next week.

Over 200 comic-crammed pages of chaos, comedy, and carnage!!! Multiple comics per page, to ensure maximum value!!!

The book collects the greatest hits of GYWO — from 2001 through 2008!!!

Guess what I titled it?

LOL, best title ever: GET YOUR WAR ON: THE DEFINITIVE ACCOUNT OF THE WAR ON TERROR, 2001 – 2008.

LOL, prove me wrong! Who got the War on Terror more right than me? LOL, Bob Woodward? LOL, I don’t think so. Thomas Friedman? Double LOL!

Please buy fifty copies of this book. Thanks so much! More information next week!

Dinosaurs! The more I learn, the more I LIKE. Just imagine: They stomped and roared across the earth thousands of years ago, and then disappeared overnight. Where did they go? Nobody knows. Only their fossils remain. Fortunately, scientists can use the fossils to reconstruct what the dinosaurs looked like. These reconstructions can then be cross-referenced with cave paintings made by cavemen. Thank God for cavemen, that’s what I always say.

Anyway, one of the most amazing facts about dinosaurs is that they used to dance together. It’s true! Scientists have found low-resolution videos embedded in fossils that show dinosaurs moving in coordinated fashion to music. (Of course, it’s caveman music — the worst, most boring music you’ll ever hear — but it’s technically music.)

Can you imagine Steglasaurossus and Pterylodoctopus dancing together? LOL, “You’re stepping on my feet — all TEN of them!” (It’s a well-known fact that dinosaurs had shitloads of feet. Ever heard the expression, “That guy has more feet than a dinosaur?” That’s where that expression comes from. From dinosaurs.)

LEARN YOUR DINOSAURS.

Could this really be true?

Of concern to McCain’s campaign, however, is a remaining and still-undisclosed clip from Palin’s interview with Couric last week that has the political world buzzing.

The Palin aide, after first noting how “infuriating” it was for CBS to purportedly leak word about the gaffe, revealed that it came in response to a question about Supreme Court decisions.

After noting Roe vs. Wade, Palin was apparently unable to discuss any major court cases.

There was no verbal fumbling with this particular question as there was with some others, the aide said, but rather silence.

This makes me love Sarah Palin. Imagine if every politician, when confronted with a topic they weren’t qualified to discuss, just shut down and sat in silence?

GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS SILENCE.

Multiple readers have chimed in and hit me over the head with the BUSTED! stick vis a vis my “Dinosaurs in the Bible” posts below.

Bill Hicks (famous comedian who lived 6,000 years ago) mined this fertile territory back in the 1990s. I think I subconsciously stole Hicks’ routine!

I apologize to my readers. And to the late Bill Hicks, wherever he is.

As to the readers who emailed me about Hicks’ routine: NEVER SECOND-GUESS ME AGAIN! THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL SUBMIT TO YOUR FEEDBACK.

LOL, just kidding, keep the corrections coming.

(Although, isn’t it interesting that nobody has corrected my financial analyses? Proof that I am the best blogger on the scene.)