Just sold a bottle of MERLOT (the best kind of wine) to an elderly gentleman. Turns out he had attended one of our comedy shows.

HIM: “Are you the funny guy?”
ME: “I guess so.”
HIM: “Keep practicing.”
(He was being silly, he knows I’m the best of all time.)

I told him to come to the show on Saturday; I think he will LOVE Todd Barry!

Guys, I’m not gonna lie: I’m bumpin’ NPR pretty hard right now. If you want to buy some wine while listening to the news, now is a great time to stop by the wine shop.

Also, you can follow the wine shop on twitter! This will keep you up-to-date on all their fine wines and wine specials!

A wine salesperson (distributor?) just dropped off a list of wines for sale. Should I order some wine for the store owners, as a surprise?

“Hello, one of your salespersons just dropped off your list of wines. I’d like to place an order for my wine store.”
“Which wines would you like to buy?”
“How about ALL OF THEM.”

Yes, that’s right: I just sold another bottle of wine. It was a white wine. People think you can’t drink white wine in cold weather, but that’s not true. You can drink white wine from February until October.

“And that’s another fact about wine.”

BREAKING … BREAKING … MUST CREDIT MNFTIU.CC … I just made my first sale of the day: THREE BOTTLES. Two red wines and one white wine. I processed that credit card like my name is “Card-Swiper Jones.”

More soon. Buy that wine!!!

Oh, nice — Elliott Smith just came on the store’s internet radio. He’s one of my favorites. It’s definitely feeling mellow up in here all of a sudden.

It’s morning in the wine store. I just finished wiping the dew off all the bottles. Amazing selection of wines this week: red wine, white wine, pink wine — we’ve got it all. And it’s all for sale.

We also have tequila and whiskey.

Later today I’m going to shelve some bottles. I will DEFINITELY keep you up to date on that project.

I’m chillin’ in the wine store … just sold six bottles … hate to brag, but yeah, that’s a lot of wine … I had to pack them in a box because they don’t make bags big enough for so much wine … six bottles at once … I told you this wasn’t a joke. I processed the customer’s credit card with utmost speed and due diligence. Believe that.

Have any of you blog readers ever heard of an obscure Chapel Hill band called Metal Flake Mother? (I’ve probably written about them before because they used to make me so happy.) Anyway, one of the guys from that late, lamented band is back with a new band and I just found this video on youtube and I’ve been listening to it for, oh, say, 45 minutes straight.

So come on by and get that wine and let’s talk about classic Metal Flake Mother songs like “Deem On” and “Wingtip Lizards,” especially the moment where it breaks open into that three (four?)-part vocal harmony, oh boy that’ll give you shivers every time.

Did you watch this show last night? It was good. I recapped it for New York magazine’s “Grub Street” blog:

America is crazy about food. Some of us eat it every day. Others of us have conversations like, “Have you tried that amazing new kind of toast?” and, “Last weekend at the farmers’ market we watched a goat give birth to a jar of marmalade.” Because America cannot love something without turning it into a reality show, we’re enjoying a superabundance of cooking-related TV. NBC has decided to dive into this simmering goulash of food shows with America’s Next Great Restaurant which promises, at the end of its nine-week run, to give America its next great restaurant. So now you know: Any restaurant that opens between now and the conclusion of this show will not be great. It will suck. You have NBC’s word on that. I happened to watch the premiere of America’s Next Great Restaurant at a dinner party (I invited myself; I’m an incorrigible freeloader). The hostess was kind enough to lend me some earphones I plugged into the TV so I wouldn’t bother the other guests.

Read the rest here.

I’m in the wine store, selling wine. Stop by and get some. “Make that money, buy that wine,” that’s still one of the best mottos you can have.