I guess the NY Times heard that I was dabbling in yoga, so now they’re publishing all these articles about yoga:

It was 9 a.m. on a recent Saturday. The decibel level rose to that of a rowdy cocktail party. The crowd was a mix of Type-A careerists and tattooed freelancers who mold their work schedules around their yoga practice — or professionally accessorize their Lululemon outfits with heavy engagement rings.

LOL, sounds just like me. Was I there? Did I fly to L.A. to participate in the most elite, most hardcore-yet-fun yoga class with the creme de la of the crem? Only I know for sure …

“Child’s Pose.”

I’ve got a comic in the June issue of Harper’s magazine. They accidentally printed the first draft, not the final draft, so just imagine the comic being 10% more funnier and polished.

Thanks!

Yoga classes are catering to big dawgs:

A few blocks away at MegaYoga, Megan Garcia offered her students another way to manage belly fat: just pick it up and move it. Demonstrating a seated spinal twist at the front of the room, Mrs. Garcia, a plus-size model, lifted the flesh of her midsection and moved it to the side, which enabled her to twist more deeply.

HELL YES.

I was going to try to make yoga tonight, and do some “Flow Yoga,” I think that’s what you call it, where the teacher makes you do endless cycles of impossible positions, but time got away from me.

So, no yoga tonight.

But that’s OK, tomorrow is another day. Another day where maybe I can get buck-wild and drop some yoga-bombs on everyone … Child’s pose, get ready, I’m coming for you …

Obama wimps out on releasing prisoner photos.

JMM on Dick Cheney:

You start to get the sense that just as Cheney committed his historic goof of launching off into Iraq while forgetting about dealing with al Qaida in Afghanistan and Pakistan he was doing something similar getting all wrapped up in the tough guy porn of torture that he remained ignorant of or just plain ignored the actual nuts and bolts of taking down or disabling terrorist organizations.

As a relatively lazy person who resents doing difficult things, this analysis makes me sympathetic to Cheney. If you gave me the choice of A.) making a sustained, disciplined intellectual investment in understanding the structure, motivation, cultural origins of, and systemic characteristics of terrorist organizations (organizations, remember, based in a culture I knew almost nothing about, which means I’d probably have to read even more books), or B.) pouring water up some guy’s nose … there’s no question what I’d do.

One option makes me feel tough, and the other is BORING and a lot of work.

What is it about turtles? Why do they always mention turtles?

 

Now that I’ve done yoga a few times, I’ve picked up some tips you might be interested in if you’re about to enter the “YOG-ZONE.”

1. When you’re doing “Downward-Facing Dog,” stick your butt way up in the air so it’s easier for yoga to totally kick it.

2. When you’re doing “Warrior” (?– the one where your legs are apart and your arms are outstretched), bring a real bow and arrow to hold so you look like a real warrior.

3. Whenever the teacher says, “And now we’ll move into Child’s Pose (the one where you collapse like a wimp and lie there, panting and defeated),” reply with, “ABOUT TIME, GODDAMN ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH ALL THESE POSES?”

Have you ever done yoga? It’s an exercise system (like Bowflex, but no equipment) that’s over 100 years old.

You should check it out!

I’ve started doing yoga. I’ve done it three times. Basically the group leader tells you to do all these freaky stretches and hold the positions for what seems like fifteen minutes until your legs start to shake and the sweat dripping off your brow sounds like comedy-club rimshots.

I’ll share more of my thoughts/impressions later. For now, you should know that YOGA IS REAL and IT IS COMING FOR YOU.