Some friends just stopped by to say “Hello” and “It’s so awesome you guys are running the wine shop.”

They asked if I could recommend a nice bottle of wine.

DONE. Bing – bang – boom.

They walked out with a nice bottle of wine at a good price, and I got to sell my friends some wine.

THAT’S HOW WE DO IT.

True life tales of wine . . . the drama continues . . .

More drama at the wine shop:

A woman just came in and bought some kind of white wine that we had to get out of the refrigerator. I just about lost my mind with excitement! Because when she asked if we had a bottle in the fridge (I think it’s called a “wine chiller,” or “chardonnay cabinet,” or some kind of technical thing, but it’s basically a fancy fridge with a see-though door — which all fridges should have, when you really think about it), I had a little panic attack, like, “If we don’t have this in the fridge will she cuss me and walk out of the store?” so then I went and looked in the fridge and — YES! — we had a bottle of the wine and I was like, “Yes ma’am, I have a bottle right here.”

Holy smokes, I was SO PUMPED at that point I almost said, “You know what? This calls for a celebration. Let’s drink that bottle right now. You don’t even have to pay for it.”

But of course, professionalism comes first . . . courtesy, respect, fine wine . . . they all taste great together.

TRUE LIFE TALES OF WINE . . . the drama continues . . .

Two more hours to go in the shop, and then my wine-selling days are done!

So stop by and let me sell you some wine!

I won’t even make you buy Merlot if you don’t want to . . . I’ll sell you Pinot Noir instead (it’s like a dark, moody Merlot).

Shoot, I’ll even sell you some fine Chardonnay (it’s like a lighter, dryer, Merlot, with more circus elements in it; I think it’s also a different color).

The point is: WINE.

Here’s a “behind-the-scenes” tale to give you a sense of what life is like at the wine shop:

The owners have this thing called “Pandora” which is an internet radio station that automatically plays music you like. And they have all these different stations they customized for their shop: Oldies, String Ensemble, Indie Twee Pop (blecch), etc.

But some of the stations they’ve designed seem like “after hours” stations, like: Would you really listen to your Huey Lewis & The News station during shop hours? Wouldn’t that make your customers think you’re bonkers?

Also, Classic Rock station? Are we really allowed to listen to this station while trying to sell fine wines to a sophisticated clientele?

Well, I just spoke to one of the owners and the answer is: YES!!!

CURRENTLY JAMMING TO ZZ TOP ON PANDORA RADIO WHILE SURROUNDED BY WINE!!! This works for me.

Buy some wine . . . enjoy some classic rock . . .

OH SNAP “SLOW RIDE” JUST CAME ON . . . wine store officially entering “Off The Hook” territory . . . you better come by and get a piece of this . . . I will be pairing Foghat and Merlot ALL NIGHT LONG . . .

Just sold a bottle of white wine to a woman who wanted to cook with it. I guess she’s making a fish stew or something.

True life tales of wine . . . they don’t stop . . .

Of all the things I’ve learned while working at the wine shop these last few days, one of the most surprising is this:

You can’t tell how expensive or fancy a wine is by looking at its label.

Some of the best wines have the clunkiest, most dumbest-looking labels. Seriously, dudes: Quark XPress 3.0 much?

On the other hand, sometimes I’ll see a label that looks totally gorgeous and say, “No way could I afford this wine — look at that scripty, fancy font and the picture of the French field on it!” and then — BOOM — the wine costs, like, $9.99. AND YES, I AM TALKING ABOUT MERLOT.

I guess a wine bottle’s label is like a book’s cover: You can’t judge a book by it.

For all the anti-Merlot marauders out there, trying to harsh on my Merlot — just want you to know that a couple nights ago I drank half a bottle of Merlot while I ate half a chocolate cake and it was AWESOME.

So who’s the wine genius now?

Answer: ME.

Just sold ANOTHER bottle of Merlot!!! And guess what? The customer could NOT HAVE BEEN HAPPIER.

LOL, guess he didn’t get the message about “You need to mix Merlot with other wines to make it taste good because of the notes of the raisins,” or whatever hogwash the anti-Merlites are spouting these days.

MERLOT FOR LIFE!!!

Come on in and buy some wine . . . reasonable prices, great selection . . . each wine has been tasted and analyzed by the store owners (true fact) . . . you can’t go wrong with these wines . . .

My wife / co-worker just informed me that Zinfandel is a red wine.

I always thought it was a white wine!

Regular reader (and long-time personal nemesis) JK writes in to say:

Dude–careful, careful… Merlot straight up actually NOT considered a quality wine… Merlot considered a grape good for blending with other grapes to produce fresh notes, blending with Cabernet Sauvignon, Malbec, Cabernet Franc, and in Italy w/ Italian grapes I don’t know about… Only passable on its own… Your wine owner friend is going to crush you for this… Get Wine for Dummies copy immediately, commence reading –

Excuse me? “Wine For Dummers?!?” Who’s the dummy? Because I’m straight-up RUNNING A WINE SHOP while you sit around in your jammies hitting refresh on my blog.

As far all that stuff about “blending with other grapes to produce fresh notes,” I don’t know what you’re talking about. Grapes? Where do grapes come into all this? Fresh notes? What is this, a rock concert? I’m not running a Guitar Center over here . . . last time I checked there weren’t any skinny 12 year-olds plunking away at “Stairway to Heaven” on $1,999 guitars while Mom and Dad hold hands and their eyes glaze over . . .