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Reader Mail: Poll Data

Somebody out there gets it:

The world is taking note of your voting models!


Looking at your data from 11/6/08, 10:35 AM,


M: 4958274609827
O: 4509845618907
M: 6783649347856
O: 296528e76rw50
M: r978ert70q9869
O: w678529874659
M: 1284576197863
O: 4958762345079
M: 8756196745q65
O: 1231231240468
M: 2084702r73045
O: 7614011789650


you only showed us the first 12 data points here–I think you would have really turned the political world on its head if you continued this trend with an epsilon argument of .82–so I can only extrapolate from there.


Later that day, Obama gave his first post-election press conference. If we look at the first 12 capitalized words in his prepared remarks:


This
The
October
In
Americans
Tens
Their
Now
United
States
January
I


If we take the md5 checksum of each of these words, we get


77631ca4f0e08419b70726a447333ab6
a4704fd35f0308287f2937ba3eccf5fe
eca60ae8611369fe28a02e2ab8c5d12e
efeb369cccbd560588a756610865664c
165813154207e6cacef030430ea09616
3520ceb310cfd1854963293f755fce95
1fb40af155860ea26b4adb2f6049349d
1e1cc9bdeb2f29f5480106aec7e9bc48
a6590794f2fd66738d3a0f28a4857762
b8464cdd84b5f068ad72bf5c4f32163d
86f5978d9b80124f509bdb71786e929e
dd7536794b63bf90eccfd37f9b147d7f


Now to compare this with your data, we can use the fact that the dual space of a normed space is ALWAYS a Banach space to arrive at the following map from R12 to R12


\hat f(x) = \sum_{j=1}^{12} \tau_{j_0} \alpha_2^\prime
(see attachment)


this provides an isometry which EXACTLY MAPS YOUR DATA TO OBAMA’S WORDS. It is as if your wrote the speech for him! What is remarkable is that it is so simple, it is a theoretical impossibility that this is merely a coincidence.


10:35 AM… mnftiu releases numbers… 2:53 PM… Obama codes these numbers into speech…


Is this a new golden age of mnftiu.cc… the dominant blog of the 19th-22nd century?? You are putting MATHEMATICAL COMMUNITY AT LARGE ON NOTICE!

This is why I blog — for the community. For the user-generated research that will define the new century as “Party-Time Century, USA.”

Nate Silver, your days are numbered! (LOL, “numbered.”)

A Word About The Polls

Well, it seems some people are tiring of my non-stop amazing polls which I keep releasing to so much fanfare.

Don’t worry, anti-poll people . . . as of next week, I plan to cut back on my polls.

BUT REAL QUICK, CHECK OUT THIS POLL:

O: 1,452,894
M: 23,098,630,985
SUBSET: 7,205,587,693 (n = 2,398,709,873,209)
p-value = 000.4000.22 (one of the lowest ever recorded!)

DEMS SHOULD HURRY . . . LOL, WHAT RHYMES WITH HURRY? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT DEMS SHOULD REALLY DO.

Thank You Northampton!

Thanks to everyone who represented in Northampton last night. Thanks to Bill Scher of Northampton Drinking Liberally for hooking up the event. Sorry it was a bit crowded in that little basement room.

But wasn’t it worth it to see me ROCKING MY NATIONAL REVIEW T-SHIRT??? Greatest shirt ever, which I wear with such pride!!!

If anyone has a picture of me in my National Review shirt, please forward so I can post on my blog!

(Interesting fact I just learned about my National Review shirt . . . my wife won’t let me kiss her while wearing it. “You have to take that shirt off if you’re gonna kiss me . . .” And no, she’s not talking about how much she wants to see my rock-hard abs, LOL!!! More like, “Nacho-hard abs,” seeing as how I killed those nachos last night in Northampton, and then had nacho-style-breakfast this morning, LOL, nachos I love you!!!)

Am I The Next Nate Silver?

Everyone’s talking about my polls — are they better than fivethirtyeight.com? Is my data more incredible? Are my spreadsheets bigger, with better fonts? Are my number bigger, with so many digits you can’t believe your eyes?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. And yes and yes!

Am I the next Nate Silver?

YES.

Check out this NYTimes article about Silver. His dad recalls an incident from childhood:

“When we took him to preschool one time, we dropped him off, and he announced, ‘Today, I’m a numbers machine,’ and started counting,” Brian Silver said. “When we picked him up two and a half hours later, he was ‘Two thousand one hundred and twenty-two, two thousand one hundred and twenty-three…’ ”

Are you kidding me? Homeboy spent all day counting, and only made it into the 2,000s? You leave me alone all day, I’ll count right through the 2,000s and into the 4,000s! Nate Silver thinks he’s a counting machine? I’M A COUNTING MACHINE. I’ll count circles around Nate Silver!

Anytime, anyplace, Nate Silver. You and me. Two-man count-off. On your mark, get set, COUNT. (And good thing your name is silver, because that’s the color of the medal you’ll receive — SILVER. Because the GOLD medal is going to ME.)

I’m so disgusted with the liberal media right now, I can’t count straight.

Sarah Palin & The Rape Kits

“Sarah Palin and the rape kits? Sounds like a punk band. Are they good?”

LOL, remember that classic line from an early GYWO video?

Guess what? SOMEBODY WATCHED THAT VIDEO AND DECIDED TO START A BAND CALLED “SARAH PALIN & THE RAPE KITS.” LOL, we’re living in the internet era, no doubt!!!

This song is called “Lipstick on a Pig.” (It quotes “Umbrella” by Rihanna, which was the inaugural Friday Face-Off, so as far as I’m concerned, these dudes have wiretapped my mind.)

The band’s home page is here.

I think this is my first “internet meme.” Where do I pick up my commemorative t-shirt?

More Information RE: The Zogby Destroyer

If you want to dig into the data below, use this subset for your calculations:

2395: 2095 / 09348-098
2591: 9995 / 45098-489

n = 936
p-value = .02

Remember: Republicans are the odd numbers; Dems are the even numbers.

A Message For All Relationshapesheadz

I’ve received some emails from Relationshapesheadz (hardcore fans of “Relationshapes”) asking when the RELATIONSHAPES link will be fixed.

We’ll fix it, don’t worry. It’s just that right now I’m overwhelmed with all the polls I’m commissioning and analyzing (some have upwards of fifty numbers per data point, with n = 3 and a p-value of -1, just so you know).

For now, please enjoy this:

Are you kidding me? Those are some of the best shapes I’ve ever drawn. There’s not even a word for the shape on the right. Euclid even in his wildest fantasies couldn’t have imagined a shape like that!!!

As for the shape on the left, what can I say? LOL, attention MIT Shape Laboratory, I’m available for guest lectures and tenure! Just make sure you have lots of Zinfandel at the fancy reception for me, as well as brie and bleu cheese and the finest crackers!!!

My Latest Poll, a.k.a. “The Zogby Destroyer”

BREAKING NEWS MUST CREDIT FLASHING SIRENS (c) 2008 MNFTIU POLLS, INC.

Here it is ladies and gentlemen: The largest poll I’ve ever commissioned. Call it “The Zogby Destroyer.”

I used more than 150 numbers for this poll, and the results are stunning. HOW CAN DEMS NOT WORRY WHEN THEY SEE THIS?

Here’s the baseline:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Nothing fancy, right? Good ol’ “1 thru 10,” we all love it. But watch what happens when we run the numbers . . .

25087409872549278 (KY)
659182734569875t6548659787459072608 (AZ)
95745082778917 (WV)
65487164592487613045 (SC)
786459162 (HI)
54937561 (NY)
93463945871634916548645 (NJ)
95762394587156238 (IL)
7634590178569847 (IA)
61776135876154978364 (OR)
53290786 (GA)
078562495786314 (AL)
598376 (ND)

Am I the only one seeing this?

——————–

AND THEN . . .

25
30
23
102
24
96

WTF, are you kidding me? How will Obama overcome those numbers? How does he deal with a 25 sitting right on top of a 30, with a 23 breathing down its neck, not to mention that 102 sitting atop a fat, disgusting 24, which is doing everything it can do suppress that 96 at the bottom?!?

Stick a fork in the toast, ladies and gentlemen . . . it’s done.

Bat Segundo Interview — Cartoonist Secrets Revealed!

I gave an interview to the great BAT SEGUNDO show in which I accidentally revealed some of the secrets of cartooning . . .

Rees: Well, I trade (profanity) on the gray market. I trade — you know, cap and trade with carbon emissions? They set up the same thing for cartoonists, where you get a given amount of profanity. “Fuck,” “goddam,” “asshole,” “shit,” “cocksucker,” “bitch,” all that stuff. And then if you want to use more, you buy a set on the International Profanity Market. You buy a certain amount from other cartoonists.


Correspondent: They come in 200 units, I think.


Rees: Right. Well, it’s 200 syllables. You don’t actually buy the profanity by the word. You buy it by the syllable. So “motherfucker” is four syllables. You can use those four syllables to deploy one “motherfucker” or four “asses.” So I usually just buy them from cartoonists like Bil Keane, who does The Family Circus. He never uses his allotment. In a year, he never says “fuck” in The Family Circus more than ten times. So I will buy him out usually at the beginning of the year, so that I have enough to get me through a season.

You can listen to the interview here.

Stunning New Poll

Take a look at this data; simply stunning:

124098 230983
235051 034055
450987 209322

You realize, don’t you, that the p-value is 5/4? With n = 21, how can the Dems not worry?